Hello, it's been a long time :) This year might be the time of dive deep and revelation for my soul, i start noticing the roots of old pattern, burried emotion, and the real relationship with myself. Mindful breath-work really help to raise my awareness to see many hidden parts of myself, there.. i met my shadow.
I always thought that i love myself, but then i realize i'm not yet love myself completely. I always push the dark side of me into the abyss. Carl jung said "what you resist, persist." He was super right, this understanding really give me explanation why some pattern keep looping in life, why we attract some kind of people, it was our emotion that we burried crying to be seen, to accepted, to be loved. They're hidden in the shadow that we repress. This year i'm lucky to met them and hug them with compassion.
One day i realize that life is a dance of light and shadow, and to achieve real love is to embrace both of them. Dark and light, good and bad, yin and yang, life is always a duality. I also just understood the true meaning of love that i'm looking for, many people chasing it outside (in people, marriage, fame, things, etc) but ironically it never there, its always inside us.
If you can't love yourself you'll chase love and validation from others, and sadly no one can fulfill it. The funny part is when we love ourself completely even love our darkest side and accept it, the desire to get love from other was dissapear, and the paradox is, when we don't need people validation, love, or approval we became magnetic and they'll come to us. Such a funny games of life hahaha. So this year is my journey to the inner world :)
Love, Mustika.H
Today i love myself :)
