Today i go to library, trying to make a progress on my final task of my college. InsyaAllah i’ll graduate for second time on June, 2018. And as usual, in every ending start a new beginning. I met an old friend today, she ask me what is my next plan after graduate, and i ask her back “what about you?”. She answer “i think, i’m gonna married.” I thougt she didn’t plan to work, but then she replied “to be honest, i want to be kindergarten teacher. My friend offering me a job to teach kids, but i said i don’t have a basic knowledge about that.” I smiled to myself. Look, life is so unpredictable. I mean, economic student on reputable university wants to be kindergarten teacher! And i know she  is a smart, dilligent, calm, and kind-hearted woman, i believe many company would love to accept her. But, who know whats every people hide on their hearts?. And i starting to ask this to myself too, i am an economic student on the same university where i’m going after this? The option just three :

For option 1. Married : to be honest i have no idea about this one, because first i don’t have someone i really love (for now), second i’m not kind of girl who want married so much or i want married cause most of my friends have married nowadays. I’m not that type. Cause on my perspective, married not only sweet things and honeymoon or having somebody who treat you, but moreeeeee than that. You need to accept other people on your life, you need to calm down your ego, you need to understanding each other, i have a goals and dream so is he, how to negotiate, and many things.. i’m not perfect and i’m not perfectionist, but for a life mate i have my own strict standard and super selective. But, i know i am no one too, who am i? I’m not beauty queen, or princess, or what, i’m just an ordinary girl. So i keep fixing myself too. The only one reason why i want to marry as soon as possible is i want makes my parrents happy, just it. Don’t worry dad, i always wants to makes you happy, just pray for me.

Option 2. Working on company

I’ve work before, and that time i can’t enjoyed it. Maybe its not the right position for me and that time i still learning so much things. I always want to serve, i love adventure to the village, forest, i love seeing others people life, i love to know story of everypeople, i want to hear how poor people make a living, i love animals and nature. So if i back to office, i think i should work on that sector. I know working can give me a lot of knowledge, met new people and new friends, and also bad people and good people. The reason why i still prefer not working on office nowadays is my confusion on my head. I still have a lot of thing to fix on my mind. And i’ll fix it one by one. Bismillah, guide me My Lord.

Option 3. Do other things

Do other things means manyyyy things. I’m kind of girl who believe that we can live this life in a way we love. (In good interpretation of course). If you hate to work so out and do what you love, if you don’t really want to married fast because of right reason, stop care with others talk.

Honestly, my childhood dreams still shadowing my mind. I always want to be painter/ illustrator. So, you may asking me why you take all accounting and economic major if you want to be painter hah?! Are you losing your mind? I don’t want to tell the reason, cause it need super long explanation and maybe you won’t understand too. But, this day i’ve conclude this : not everything will run 100% like you really want. Sometimes God change your direction, makes you meet unexpected people, takes you to unbelievable place, life is a surprise. But, i still have a dream on my head that one day i’m gonna be a great illustrator who spread peace, kindness, and happiness to the world. Thats one of my way to contribute in this life. I am no one, Ya Allah, i am nothing without Your bless, i’m just a dust in universe, maybe if i passed away one day this world also will forget me. But, Let me spread Your Message through my artwork to the world. I’m not a girl who like talking in front of many people, i can’t sing, but you give me talent with drawing, so let me contribute with Your Gift to me Lord, with something i love deeply, drawing.

And somebody said to me, we’re have control to make things come true. And its not hard things for Allah to make 3 option above come true even in this year. I’m gonna trying my best, Bismillah.